Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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