I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
