Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm sobbing to NWA
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
