I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
