oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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