He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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