why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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