I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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