We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
