...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
