Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
