IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
