So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Drunk is a universal language darling
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