I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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