Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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