um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
