if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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