things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
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I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
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Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
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