discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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