Umm I'm too high to move.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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