We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
