You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize