it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
only if we run a train.
done.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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