so that wasnt chicken after all
Life is so much better after having sex.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
