I hate your face
Will you blow on my dice?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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