Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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