I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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