That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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