I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
