all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
