Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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