I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
