u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
