her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
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We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
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Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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