You're completely useless in the revolution.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Randomize
