I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i drank out of a bidet.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
