Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
