I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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