Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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