How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
