She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
