I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
