normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
