i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize