Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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