im about as happy as oj after his trial
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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