she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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