She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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