Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I could fuck to npr.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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