I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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