she woke up with a sticky ear
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
