You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
