In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
