I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize