whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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