I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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