I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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