nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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