So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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